Adam G
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 06/07/00
Posts: 59161
Loc: Arrr-Kansas
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For purposes of this poll, ignore the abortion issue. Arguing about whether an unborn child/fetus is human life is a debate for another thread. Do you believe in the cradle to the grave sanctity of human life?
Definition of sanctity, for reference:
sanc·ti·ty/ˈsaNG(k)titē/
Noun:
The state or quality of being holy, sacred, or saintly.
Ultimate importance and inviolability.
Since you shouldnt ever start a poll thread without first sharing yourself, this has been my experience. My mother is 58 years old and has advanced Early Onset Alzheimer's, arguably the worst form of a group of disorders generally referred to as Dementia. In what seems like another life ago she was a clinical psychologist, so very educated and independent. With this particular disease they say that you typically have five years from the point of diagnosis until you're in the ground. If memory serves, my mom was diagnosed in 2005 or 2006.
For the next five years she went steadily downhill until it got to the point that living at the home she has been in for 20 years was too dangerous for her. Among other things, she forgot where the bathroom was, didn't recognize my stepfather and stepbrother who live with her (let alone me), started rolling down the stairs and breaking bones, etc. It was also a tremendously unfair burden on my stepfather and stepbrother to deal with her care alone.
I hired a lawyer and filed a lawsuit to be appointed her guardian (so I could place her in a nursing home) and then to transfer the house to my stepfather before applying for Medicaid. Eventually that all worked out and my mom went into the first nursing home on July 15, 2011. From that point on, the progression of the disease probably increased tenfold. She was eventually booted out of the nursing home twice for behavior issues and did a couple of stints in a psych ward. The doctors tried to get a handle on what was going on but no definitive cause was ever pinpointed outside of normal progression of the dementia.
I eventually found a new nursing home to take her once she was discharged from the psych hospital. This was really difficult; her application was denied by upwards of a dozen other nursing homes based on her troubles at the prior facility. She has been in the new facility for eight weeks or so. It has been an up and down experience. On the up side, she hasn't been booted out yet. On the down side, she hasn't been booted out because of how far her condition has deteriorated. As a result, she's no longer a threat to do anything disruptive or dangerous. Seeing her yesterday (first time in a week or so) was eye opening. She looks skeletal - she's 5'2" and if she even weighed 70 lbs, I would be surprised. Her life consists entirely of laying in this kind of lounge chair where she gazes off into oblivion and twitches involuntarily. She is an enormous ball of anger and frustration due to her lack of ability to communicate. Her body is covered with bruises from where she slams her various limbs around because that's all she can do at this point to express herself. She long ago lost the ability to walk, feed herself, or do any of life's other daily tasks that we take for granted. It is a struggle to get her to drink out of a cup, even if you hold it up to her lips. This, of course, is a prelude to how many people with this disease eventually die - they forget how to swallow and waste away to nothing, literally.
I spoke with my stepfather about her situation last night. We both agree that life is purely torture for her at this point and we both wished there was some process by which we could hasten her suffering. That, of course, is not allowed due to certain politicians and their supporters who insist that each and every human life is sacred.
Anyway, I dont make this post looking for sympathy. I'm just looking for somebody to explain to me how 1) human life, in each and every circumstance, is of the "ultimate importance and inviolability" and 2) how it would not be more merciful and God-like to have some sort of process or procedure by which we can minimize or eliminate suffering in situations such as these. UxiSi, beefy, johnso, or whoever else wants to take a shot, please lay it on me.
*EDIT*
My mom passed at 12:48 AM on 11/7/11. Seems that God or somebody was calling my bluff by making this post. Here's a copy and paste of a play by play I wrote out last night.
I saw my mother a week ago Sunday at the nursing home. She looked pretty awful. She was strapped to a chair because she couldnt walk anymore, weighed about 70 lbs, and was having a lot of trouble drinking even if you held the cup up to her lips. She was one big ball of frustration because she couldnt communicate. As a result she just repeatedly slammed her arms and legs against her chair, leading her to be bruised all over her body. They pumped her full of anti-anxiety drugs, but apparently it wasn't enough.
So I got a call at the office at 4 or so on Friday afternoon from the nursing home saying that my mom had a high fever and they were sending her over to Lutheran General. I didnt really think too much of it, just that I would hop in the car and head out there after work. Five minutes later they called me again and said that they couldnt wait until the hospital got there to pick her up because her oxygen levels were dropping so they were calling 911. A little more ominous.
I got out there at 730 or so. My stepfather was already there and she had a big box over her face which was a breathing machine. Turns out that she has pneumonia, which is what most Alzheimer's patients usually die from. She was transferred from the ER to ICU and Marc and I met with the head resident. We discussed that my mom is in end stage Alzheimer's, meaning that the end is coming soon even if she makes it through this weekend. He said that if the breathing machine doesn't get her oxygenation rate up, then the next steps are more invasive. Particularly, they would have to do a endotracheal tube (tube down her throat) and a arterial line, meaning something put in her jugular vein. We all agreed that we would not go that route, but rather dial it back to simple oxygen in the nose and morphine to keep her comfortable until the end came. I left the ER that night at 930 or so.
Around 1130 Friday night I got a call from the attending physician in the ICU, saying that my mom's heart rate was through the roof. Basically her heart and lungs were working overtime (155bpm) and oxygen wasnt getting through her body. The doctor said that he had already conferred with my stepfather and the head physician at the nursing home and they agreed that they should take off the breathing machine and switch to morphine. I asked how long she would have if they took her off the breathing machine and he estimated a half hour. That's when it became very real to me. If I agreed to it, my mother would be dead in 30 minutes. I thought about it for a minute or two while he was on the phone before agreeing to it, knowing that it was the right thing to do. Still, saying it and actually doing it are two very different things.
I raced over to the hospital, doing 110 on the Edens, running red lights, the whole nine yards. But she didnt pass. She just sat there, her heart racing 155bpm as the hours passed. She still looked awful - eyes open and unblinking, eyes just moving back and forth rythymically (sp?), mouth wide open like she was screaming but wasnt. It was hard to watch, but still she wouldnt let go.
I spent the night that night and the next day lots of people came to say goodbye. I think she knew everybody was there and put on quite a show for them. Her vitals kind of stabilized. We also found out that she had MRSA in addition to the pneumonia, neither of which were being treated. But somehow, she didnt pass.
She eventually passed very early this morning, ten minutes after I left for the night after having been there all day long. Maybe she was waiting for me to just hurry up and GTFO so I wouldnt have to see it. I'm not sure. But at least her suffering is over. This disease really did a number on her and I wouldnt wish it on anybody.
I had a really interesting conversation with one of the nurses who sat with me and just talked for about two hours. She had been an ICU nurse for like 10 years so she is around death on a daily basis. I asked her whether she was spiritual and/or believed in God and she said yes to both. I said ok, give me a story, something that you saw in the ICU that was undeniably the hand of God at work. She said that's easy. She had a patient come in who was dying of Stage 3 brain cancer. They did a brain scan on him and it showed the huge tumor. He spent two days in the hospital basically waiting to die and they did another scan. The second scan showed that the tumor had absolutely disappeared. That patient walked out of the hospital healthy. She gave me a handful of other stories, but that was the shortest and sweetest.
I wasn't praying for any sort of miracle with my mom, knowing that it likely wouldn't come. I just prayed that God was somehow involved in the process and I'm confident that He was. Even if we cant see or understand whatever God's plan is, it's important to remember that it's there somewhere.
Thanks for reading all.
Edited by Adam G (11/08/11 04:40 PM)
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