#5916819 - 11/08/11 05:39 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: MetalheaD]
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ElectronVTEC2
Post Master Sr
Registered: 07/10/08
Posts: 5915
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Adam, that tidbit about her being moved is hard to read. We all think we know what it's like to be there, but we really don't. I am not a person of faith, but I do hope that the life after this is more kind than this one can be. Like others have said, I appreciate how much you've shared with this community.
Todd
_________________________
2011 Edge (Wife's appliance) EVO IX MR, minor mods
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#5916838 - 11/08/11 05:48 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: TheKing]
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turbo_guy
Post Master Sr
Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 4434
Loc: canton, oh
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rip
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#5917081 - 11/08/11 07:26 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: Ellessar]
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YeSiR
YeSiR
Unregistered
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Very sorry to hear of your loss. I really fucking hate the way Alzheimers doesn't just kill people, but it totally ruins their quality of life near the end.
I wish we all could live relatively healthy though limited physically until just dying in our sleep of old age alone with no complications.
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#5917239 - 11/08/11 08:23 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: MetalheaD]
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UxiSi
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 02/12/01
Posts: 24484
Loc: Southern California
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RIP Adam. I'll say another prayer for her and you.
There is no God. If there is, he's not the Santa Claus every one thinks he is. He gives not a fuck about our suffering.
Nice hedging of your bets. :p I obviously disagree 100% , but rather than engage in a probably futile religious debate, I'll sum up my contrary view in two words of which paragraphs, books, and even libraries are enough for either, much less both together: Incarnation and Crucifixion.
Colloquially, in the words of Jules I'd say, "That shit don't matter. You're judging this shit the wrong way. I mean, it could be that God stopped the bullets, or He changed Coke to Pepsi, He found my fucking car keys. " You place too much concern on our suffering and too much emphasis on this life. Your self-centered perspective is understandable, particularly if you believe this is it and there's nothing before or nothing after, but to me it appears no more sophisticated than a toddler's tantrum.
Note that I'm not saying to take it too far the other way and embrace nihilism, either. That would be just as wrong in the other direction.
_________________________
------------------------------ UxiSi 2000 EBP Civic Si
"Democracies have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention; have ever been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property; and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their death." -- James Madison
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#5917256 - 11/08/11 08:30 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: UxiSi]
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Back 5
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 09/16/03
Posts: 18123
Loc: CA
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Fantastic post Adam_G. Sorry for your loss, sir.
_________________________
RIP Morgann 2004-2010. Enjoy Doggie Heaven If at first you do succeed, try something harder. When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
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#5917257 - 11/08/11 08:31 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: Back 5]
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urapnis
Post Master Sr
Registered: 01/25/02
Posts: 6565
Loc: Seoul, South Korea
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sorry for your loss. and thanks for sharing your experience.
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#5917382 - 11/08/11 09:17 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: MetalheaD]
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YeSiR
YeSiR
Unregistered
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I watched both of my grandmothers die in hospitals. One of them I was unlucky enough to be the last one she spoke to. Her last words? "I'm scared". I watched the other one scream for her father who had been dead before I was born. She sounded like a little girl.
There is no God. If there is, he's not the Santa Claus every one thinks he is. He gives not a fuck about our suffering.
That's the last thing one of my grandmothers said to me before dying, "I'm scared" hmmmmm
i don't like where this is going...
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#5917462 - 11/08/11 09:59 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: Adam G]
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EmptyWallet
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 08/11/00
Posts: 17010
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I asked how long she would have if they took her off the breathing machine and he estimated a half hour. That's when it became very real to me. If I agreed to it, my mother would be dead in 30 minutes. I thought about it for a minute or two while he was on the phone before agreeing to it, knowing that it was the right thing to do. Still, saying it and actually doing it are two very different things.
Man oh man...that made me get misty-eyed thinking about when that day might come with my parents.
I sit here....not really sure what to type. There's a ton of thoughts flying through my head, and I've had a lot of thoughts recently about how I might feel and act when my parents start to go down hill.
I remember before my grandfather passed, he started getting dementia and would call my father (his son), my cousins name. Sometimes he didn't even recognize his own son. I didn't really pay much attention to it, until it hit me in the stomach one day....that's going to be me.
I felt like I needed to sit down. It's hard for me to deal with that.
Honestly, I still cling to the fantasy. I don't care how immature it sounds...my parents are both still superheroes in my eyes.
I think when we grow up, Mom & Dad are untouchable (at least in my experience) in our eyes. They make all the right decisions, they create a feeling of comfort, of SAFETY. It shook my reality a little bit when I realized that they are indeed not perfect, that they make mistakes, and don't have all the answers.
A lot of that is related to my childhood, which was awesome....so my perception is going to be biased, but I think everyone at a young age, regards their parents as superheroes.
I just choose to cling to that fantasy now. I know in my heart it's probably not completely right, but it makes me feel better to believe it.
I remember asking my father one time how in the world he could deal with his father starting to slide...."You just do." is what he told me.
I know I'm going to absolutely go off the deep end when my mother is gone. So I guess what I'm trying to say is MAN, I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I'll keep everyone involved in my thoughts and prayers.
I know the above is all jumbled up, and doesn't make any sense...but I thought it might help.
_________________________
"I don't think I've ever seen you get angry?" [laughs] "Oh, I used to get angry. All the time. Frustrated too." "You don't get...frustrated anymore?' [smiles]"...I'm not lost anymore.." "How..how did you do that?" "Same way that anything lost,...gets found.....I stopped looking."
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#5917467 - 11/08/11 10:02 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: Adam G]
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Nathan
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 11/02/00
Posts: 21779
Loc: Roedyelin
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My condolences.
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#5917505 - 11/08/11 10:21 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: EmptyWallet]
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Spooky7715
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 19566
Loc: FL
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I asked how long she would have if they took her off the breathing machine and he estimated a half hour. That's when it became very real to me. If I agreed to it, my mother would be dead in 30 minutes. I thought about it for a minute or two while he was on the phone before agreeing to it, knowing that it was the right thing to do. Still, saying it and actually doing it are two very different things.
Man oh man...that made me get misty-eyed thinking about when that day might come with my parents. I sit here....not really sure what to type. There's a ton of thoughts flying through my head, and I've had a lot of thoughts recently about how I might feel and act when my parents start to go down hill. I remember before my grandfather passed, he started getting dementia and would call my father (his son), my cousins name. Sometimes he didn't even recognize his own son. I didn't really pay much attention to it, until it hit me in the stomach one day....that's going to be me. I felt like I needed to sit down. It's hard for me to deal with that. Honestly, I still cling to the fantasy. I don't care how immature it sounds...my parents are both still superheroes in my eyes. I think when we grow up, Mom & Dad are untouchable (at least in my experience) in our eyes. They make all the right decisions, they create a feeling of comfort, of SAFETY. It shook my reality a little bit when I realized that they are indeed not perfect, that they make mistakes, and don't have all the answers. A lot of that is related to my childhood, which was awesome....so my perception is going to be biased, but I think everyone at a young age, regards their parents as superheroes. I just choose to cling to that fantasy now. I know in my heart it's probably not completely right, but it makes me feel better to believe it. I remember asking my father one time how in the world he could deal with his father starting to slide...."You just do." is what he told me. I know I'm going to absolutely go off the deep end when my mother is gone. So I guess what I'm trying to say is MAN, I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I'll keep everyone involved in my thoughts and prayers. I know the above is all jumbled up, and doesn't make any sense...but I thought it might help. You try to prepare yourself as much as you can, but nothing can really prepare you. We had to make the decision for my mother to stop the machines. They told us it could be minutes. It was 5 days. I think I took comfort in her being so out of it before whe was put on the vent so I felt as though she did not know what was going on. I hoped. We had to make the decision for my sister. When they took her off the vent it was like she wasn't even sick, but we knew her lungs were going to fill back up with fluid and we would lose her. It was less than 24 hours. She was awake, coherent and trying to comfort us for much of it until she fell asleep for the last time. It still haunts me. Especially because she didnt want to die on my birthday, but she did. She was my best friend. My everything. My father died tragically in a fire. It took a while to process that one. Nothing can prepare you for the death of a loved one, but knowing they are not suffering any longer helps you deal with it after it happens. I hurt so much for Adam. I consider him a dear friend and he was there for me when I lost my loved ones. I wish there was something I could do.... but I know I can't.
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#5917506 - 11/08/11 10:21 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: Nathan]
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MugenNeuspeed
Post Master Sr
Registered: 07/13/01
Posts: 4175
Loc: Whereever whenever
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My condolences, my grandma passed away on my birthday this year. I sat by her side for 2 days while she was breathing heavily on the morphone drip, it was disheartening to say the very least.
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#5917535 - 11/08/11 10:34 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: Spooky7715]
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EmptyWallet
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 08/11/00
Posts: 17010
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I asked how long she would have if they took her off the breathing machine and he estimated a half hour. That's when it became very real to me. If I agreed to it, my mother would be dead in 30 minutes. I thought about it for a minute or two while he was on the phone before agreeing to it, knowing that it was the right thing to do. Still, saying it and actually doing it are two very different things.
Man oh man...that made me get misty-eyed thinking about when that day might come with my parents. I sit here....not really sure what to type. There's a ton of thoughts flying through my head, and I've had a lot of thoughts recently about how I might feel and act when my parents start to go down hill. I remember before my grandfather passed, he started getting dementia and would call my father (his son), my cousins name. Sometimes he didn't even recognize his own son. I didn't really pay much attention to it, until it hit me in the stomach one day....that's going to be me. I felt like I needed to sit down. It's hard for me to deal with that. Honestly, I still cling to the fantasy. I don't care how immature it sounds...my parents are both still superheroes in my eyes. I think when we grow up, Mom & Dad are untouchable (at least in my experience) in our eyes. They make all the right decisions, they create a feeling of comfort, of SAFETY. It shook my reality a little bit when I realized that they are indeed not perfect, that they make mistakes, and don't have all the answers. A lot of that is related to my childhood, which was awesome....so my perception is going to be biased, but I think everyone at a young age, regards their parents as superheroes. I just choose to cling to that fantasy now. I know in my heart it's probably not completely right, but it makes me feel better to believe it. I remember asking my father one time how in the world he could deal with his father starting to slide...."You just do." is what he told me. I know I'm going to absolutely go off the deep end when my mother is gone. So I guess what I'm trying to say is MAN, I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I'll keep everyone involved in my thoughts and prayers. I know the above is all jumbled up, and doesn't make any sense...but I thought it might help. You try to prepare yourself as much as you can, but nothing can really prepare you. We had to make the decision for my mother to stop the machines. They told us it could be minutes. It was 5 days. I think I took comfort in her being so out of it before whe was put on the vent so I felt as though she did not know what was going on. I hoped. We had to make the decision for my sister. When they took her off the vent it was like she wasn't even sick, but we knew her lungs were going to fill back up with fluid and we would lose her. It was less than 24 hours. She was awake, coherent and trying to comfort us for much of it until she fell asleep for the last time. It still haunts me. Especially because she didnt want to die on my birthday, but she did. She was my best friend. My everything. My father died tragically in a fire. It took a while to process that one. Nothing can prepare you for the death of a loved one, but knowing they are not suffering any longer helps you deal with it after it happens. I hurt so much for Adam. I consider him a dear friend and he was there for me when I lost my loved ones. I wish there was something I could do.... but I know I can't.
I'm so sorry for you and Adam both, and wish you both well in finding joy again in the future.
I wish there was something I could do for both of you.
_________________________
"I don't think I've ever seen you get angry?" [laughs] "Oh, I used to get angry. All the time. Frustrated too." "You don't get...frustrated anymore?' [smiles]"...I'm not lost anymore.." "How..how did you do that?" "Same way that anything lost,...gets found.....I stopped looking."
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#5917548 - 11/08/11 10:42 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: EmptyWallet]
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M3Pilot or M3Driver
Post Master Sr
Registered: 10/09/03
Posts: 7159
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Im so sorry for your loss. What an awful thing to have witnessed.
_________________________
oh hell no. i tried finding a hot deaf chick for 10+ years. closest i got was a half blind cheerleader. - Beefy
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#5917550 - 11/08/11 10:42 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: Adam G]
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daisy
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 05/18/00
Posts: 44903
Loc: Tacoma, WA
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Ahh bebe, you're killing me over here. I am so sorry for your loss, yet happy your Mom is no longer suffering (and yes, IMO that's suffering and not a way to live). You know I'm around if you need someone to talk to.
_________________________
2017 Volkswagen Alltrack 2007 Volvo XC70 Overland
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#5917569 - 11/08/11 10:58 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: Voltron]
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jdimstr
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 12/21/99
Posts: 10654
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
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Sorry for your loss, and best wishes to you and your family right now.
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#5917572 - 11/08/11 10:58 PM
Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll
[Re: Voltron]
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tcr04
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 50362
Loc: Gilbert, AZ
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