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#5916811 - 11/08/11 05:36 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: TheKing]
MetalheaD Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 05/15/03
Posts: 28216
Loc: Roanoke, VA
I watched both of my grandmothers die in hospitals. One of them I was unlucky enough to be the last one she spoke to. Her last words? "I'm scared". I watched the other one scream for her father who had been dead before I was born. She sounded like a little girl.

There is no God. If there is, he's not the Santa Claus every one thinks he is. He gives not a fuck about our suffering.
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#5916819 - 11/08/11 05:39 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: MetalheaD]
ElectronVTEC2 Offline
Post Master Sr


Registered: 07/10/08
Posts: 5915
Adam, that tidbit about her being moved is hard to read. We all think we know what it's like to be there, but we really don't. I am not a person of faith, but I do hope that the life after this is more kind than this one can be. Like others have said, I appreciate how much you've shared with this community.

Todd
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#5916838 - 11/08/11 05:48 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: TheKing]
turbo_guy Online   content
Post Master Sr


Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 4434
Loc: canton, oh
rip \:\(
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#5916846 - 11/08/11 05:52 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: MetalheaD]
turbo_guy Online   content
Post Master Sr


Registered: 06/09/03
Posts: 4434
Loc: canton, oh
 Originally Posted By: MetalheaD
I watched both of my grandmothers die in hospitals.

i watched both my parents die. my dad had 'terminal anxiety'. and oddly enough, even though it was just 8 months ago, i can't remember my mom's very last moments.

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#5916855 - 11/08/11 05:58 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: turbo_guy]
Kel Kel Offline
Post Master Jr


Registered: 07/05/01
Posts: 1592
Loc: IN
I'm so sorry Adam... my thoughts are with you and your family.
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#5916864 - 11/08/11 06:04 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Kel Kel]
TexasCamaroSS Offline
Major Member


Registered: 08/15/03
Posts: 1417
So sorry to hear this. Thoughts are with you and your family.
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#5916883 - 11/08/11 06:18 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Adam G]
madmatt Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 09/17/02
Posts: 24853
 Originally Posted By: Adam G
One more heart wrenching thing that I forgot. On Sunday they moved us out of the ICU into a room that Marc and I called the "waiting room." It was on the 14th floor and was exclusively for patients that were waiting to pass. No drugs outside of morphine and no monitors at all. The nurses would just take vitals every eight hours.

As they were transferring her from her bed to her moveable bed to take her to the waiting room, one solitary tear rolled down her cheek. That was tough.
Just...just wow \:\(

I have no words for it man, I just hope you and your family can find some peace right now knowing she is no longer in pain or frustrated with the inability to communicate to anyone. My grandfather had Alzheimer's and while I miss him tremendously, I'm so grateful that heart disease took him long before he ever got to this stage.

Know that we are here if you need anything, dicks as we may be sometimes, I don't think there is a single person on here that wouldn't lend an ear if you ever needed to vent or talk.

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#5916892 - 11/08/11 06:23 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: madmatt]
scootergeek Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 07/24/00
Posts: 46248
Loc: East of St. Louis
\:\( Sorry Adam.
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Still pissy after all these years...

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#5916893 - 11/08/11 06:24 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: madmatt]
MetalheaD Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 05/15/03
Posts: 28216
Loc: Roanoke, VA
Adam - I got caught up in the discussion and failed to say that I'm truly sorry to hear about what you went thru.
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#5917016 - 11/08/11 07:07 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: ]
RRedSi Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 03/21/06
Posts: 12194
Loc: NoVA
Sorry to hear Adam, you have my deepest condolences \:\(
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#5917046 - 11/08/11 07:15 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: RRedSi]
Ellessar Offline
Whitey
Post Master Sr


Registered: 07/14/04
Posts: 4866
Sorry man, my condolences.
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#5917081 - 11/08/11 07:26 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Ellessar]
YeSiR
Unregistered



Very sorry to hear of your loss. I really fucking hate the way Alzheimers doesn't just kill people, but it totally ruins their quality of life near the end.

I wish we all could live relatively healthy though limited physically until just dying in our sleep of old age alone with no complications.

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#5917147 - 11/08/11 07:50 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: ]
Crooow Administrator Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 12/31/02
Posts: 21695
Loc: One of the many Queen cities
Damn. I am so sorry for your loss, Adam. \:\(
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Simply because we were licked a hundred years before we started is no reason for us not to try to win.

Kayleigh, I'm still trying to write that love song. Kayleigh, it's more important to me now you're gone.

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#5917150 - 11/08/11 07:51 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: ]
Random_Hero Offline
Post Master


Registered: 08/28/03
Posts: 2085
Loc: No left turns NJ
Very sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to a similiar, horrible disease on 9/1/2011. Nothing I can say or do will make it better. My thought and prayers are with you and your family. Talking helps, if you need anything shoot me a PM.

R.I.P.
_________________________
Through the lights cameras and action, glamour glitters and gold, I unfold the scroll, plant seeds to stampede the globe.

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#5917206 - 11/08/11 08:07 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: ]
uberpollo Offline
Post Master Sr


Registered: 02/17/00
Posts: 6799
Loc: KCMO
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your description of the end of your mother's life brought back a flood of images in my mind that I can never forget from when my mom passed.

No one should have to suffer like that, not the dying, not their families.
_________________________

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#5917239 - 11/08/11 08:23 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: MetalheaD]
UxiSi Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 02/12/01
Posts: 24484
Loc: Southern California
RIP Adam. I'll say another prayer for her and you.

 Originally Posted By: MetalheaD

There is no God. If there is, he's not the Santa Claus every one thinks he is. He gives not a fuck about our suffering.


Nice hedging of your bets. :p I obviously disagree 100% , but rather than engage in a probably futile religious debate, I'll sum up my contrary view in two words of which paragraphs, books, and even libraries are enough for either, much less both together: Incarnation and Crucifixion.

Colloquially, in the words of Jules I'd say, "That shit don't matter. You're judging this shit the wrong way. I mean, it could be that God stopped the bullets, or He changed Coke to Pepsi, He found my fucking car keys. " You place too much concern on our suffering and too much emphasis on this life. Your self-centered perspective is understandable, particularly if you believe this is it and there's nothing before or nothing after, but to me it appears no more sophisticated than a toddler's tantrum.

Note that I'm not saying to take it too far the other way and embrace nihilism, either. That would be just as wrong in the other direction.
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2000 EBP Civic Si


"Democracies have ever been spectacles of turbulence and contention; have ever been found incompatible with personal security or the rights of property; and have in general been as short in their lives as they have been violent in their death." -- James Madison

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#5917256 - 11/08/11 08:30 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: UxiSi]
Back 5 Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 09/16/03
Posts: 18123
Loc: CA
Fantastic post Adam_G. Sorry for your loss, sir.
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RIP Morgann 2004-2010. Enjoy Doggie Heaven \:\(
If at first you do succeed, try something harder.
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.

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#5917257 - 11/08/11 08:31 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Back 5]
urapnis Offline
Post Master Sr


Registered: 01/25/02
Posts: 6565
Loc: Seoul, South Korea
sorry for your loss. and thanks for sharing your experience.
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#5917264 - 11/08/11 08:34 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: ]
wesley_willis Offline
Post Master


Registered: 03/29/04
Posts: 2103
Loc: New York, NY
So sorry for your loss. I don't know what i would do without my mother. Will be praying for you.
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#5917285 - 11/08/11 08:45 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: wesley_willis]
JohnMc Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 05/11/01
Posts: 123284
Loc: Easter Island
Deepest condolences, Adam.
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<insert witty comment here>

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#5917382 - 11/08/11 09:17 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: MetalheaD]
YeSiR
Unregistered



 Originally Posted By: MetalheaD
I watched both of my grandmothers die in hospitals. One of them I was unlucky enough to be the last one she spoke to. Her last words? "I'm scared". I watched the other one scream for her father who had been dead before I was born. She sounded like a little girl.

There is no God. If there is, he's not the Santa Claus every one thinks he is. He gives not a fuck about our suffering.


That's the last thing one of my grandmothers said to me before dying, "I'm scared" hmmmmm

i don't like where this is going...

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#5917410 - 11/08/11 09:32 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: MetalheaD]
Adam G Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 06/07/00
Posts: 59302
Loc: Arrr-Kansas
 Originally Posted By: MetalheaD
He gives not a fuck about our suffering.

That's one topic my stepfather and I discussed tangentially. He's a recovering addict from years back. He said he got so high and so often that what would be way high to everybody who wasnt an addict just became his baseline. Highs and lows did not exist for him.

If you exclude the remote possibility of having to bury a child, burying a parent is arguably as low as emotions go. But without these types of feelings, how do you ever appreciate the really great ones?


Edited by Adam G (11/08/11 09:33 PM)

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#5917444 - 11/08/11 09:52 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Adam G]
jtmoe Offline
Post Master Sr


Registered: 11/29/00
Posts: 4861
Loc: Washington
Adam,

My heart goes out to you. I have yet to bury a parent, and it looks like a pile of shit covered in ugly. No win. Get something to eat, get some sleep and start again tomorrow. You've got a buttload (yes, that is a technical term) of work ahead and everyone is look to you to handle a huge portion of it.
_________________________
Shouldn't we send someone to look for Pat?

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#5917462 - 11/08/11 09:59 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Adam G]
EmptyWallet Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 08/11/00
Posts: 17010
 Quote:
I asked how long she would have if they took her off the breathing machine and he estimated a half hour. That's when it became very real to me. If I agreed to it, my mother would be dead in 30 minutes. I thought about it for a minute or two while he was on the phone before agreeing to it, knowing that it was the right thing to do. Still, saying it and actually doing it are two very different things.


Man oh man...that made me get misty-eyed thinking about when that day might come with my parents.

I sit here....not really sure what to type. There's a ton of thoughts flying through my head, and I've had a lot of thoughts recently about how I might feel and act when my parents start to go down hill.

I remember before my grandfather passed, he started getting dementia and would call my father (his son), my cousins name. Sometimes he didn't even recognize his own son. I didn't really pay much attention to it, until it hit me in the stomach one day....that's going to be me.

I felt like I needed to sit down. It's hard for me to deal with that.

Honestly, I still cling to the fantasy. I don't care how immature it sounds...my parents are both still superheroes in my eyes.

I think when we grow up, Mom & Dad are untouchable (at least in my experience) in our eyes. They make all the right decisions, they create a feeling of comfort, of SAFETY. It shook my reality a little bit when I realized that they are indeed not perfect, that they make mistakes, and don't have all the answers.

A lot of that is related to my childhood, which was awesome....so my perception is going to be biased, but I think everyone at a young age, regards their parents as superheroes.

I just choose to cling to that fantasy now. I know in my heart it's probably not completely right, but it makes me feel better to believe it.

I remember asking my father one time how in the world he could deal with his father starting to slide...."You just do." is what he told me.

I know I'm going to absolutely go off the deep end when my mother is gone. So I guess what I'm trying to say is MAN, I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I'll keep everyone involved in my thoughts and prayers.

I know the above is all jumbled up, and doesn't make any sense...but I thought it might help.
_________________________
"I don't think I've ever seen you get angry?"
[laughs] "Oh, I used to get angry. All the time. Frustrated too."
"You don't get...frustrated anymore?'
[smiles]"...I'm not lost anymore.."
"How..how did you do that?"
"Same way that anything lost,...gets found.....I stopped looking."

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#5917467 - 11/08/11 10:02 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Adam G]
Nathan Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 11/02/00
Posts: 21779
Loc: Roedyelin
My condolences. \:\(
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#5917505 - 11/08/11 10:21 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: EmptyWallet]
Spooky7715 Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 12/17/01
Posts: 19566
Loc: FL
 Originally Posted By: EmptyWallet
 Quote:
I asked how long she would have if they took her off the breathing machine and he estimated a half hour. That's when it became very real to me. If I agreed to it, my mother would be dead in 30 minutes. I thought about it for a minute or two while he was on the phone before agreeing to it, knowing that it was the right thing to do. Still, saying it and actually doing it are two very different things.


Man oh man...that made me get misty-eyed thinking about when that day might come with my parents.

I sit here....not really sure what to type. There's a ton of thoughts flying through my head, and I've had a lot of thoughts recently about how I might feel and act when my parents start to go down hill.

I remember before my grandfather passed, he started getting dementia and would call my father (his son), my cousins name. Sometimes he didn't even recognize his own son. I didn't really pay much attention to it, until it hit me in the stomach one day....that's going to be me.

I felt like I needed to sit down. It's hard for me to deal with that.

Honestly, I still cling to the fantasy. I don't care how immature it sounds...my parents are both still superheroes in my eyes.

I think when we grow up, Mom & Dad are untouchable (at least in my experience) in our eyes. They make all the right decisions, they create a feeling of comfort, of SAFETY. It shook my reality a little bit when I realized that they are indeed not perfect, that they make mistakes, and don't have all the answers.

A lot of that is related to my childhood, which was awesome....so my perception is going to be biased, but I think everyone at a young age, regards their parents as superheroes.

I just choose to cling to that fantasy now. I know in my heart it's probably not completely right, but it makes me feel better to believe it.

I remember asking my father one time how in the world he could deal with his father starting to slide...."You just do." is what he told me.

I know I'm going to absolutely go off the deep end when my mother is gone. So I guess what I'm trying to say is MAN, I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I'll keep everyone involved in my thoughts and prayers.

I know the above is all jumbled up, and doesn't make any sense...but I thought it might help.

You try to prepare yourself as much as you can, but nothing can really prepare you. We had to make the decision for my mother to stop the machines. They told us it could be minutes. It was 5 days. I think I took comfort in her being so out of it before whe was put on the vent so I felt as though she did not know what was going on. I hoped. We had to make the decision for my sister. When they took her off the vent it was like she wasn't even sick, but we knew her lungs were going to fill back up with fluid and we would lose her. It was less than 24 hours. She was awake, coherent and trying to comfort us for much of it until she fell asleep for the last time. It still haunts me. Especially because she didnt want to die on my birthday, but she did. She was my best friend. My everything. My father died tragically in a fire. It took a while to process that one. Nothing can prepare you for the death of a loved one, but knowing they are not suffering any longer helps you deal with it after it happens. I hurt so much for Adam. I consider him a dear friend and he was there for me when I lost my loved ones. I wish there was something I could do.... but I know I can't.

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#5917506 - 11/08/11 10:21 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Nathan]
MugenNeuspeed Offline
Post Master Sr


Registered: 07/13/01
Posts: 4175
Loc: Whereever whenever
My condolences, my grandma passed away on my birthday this year. I sat by her side for 2 days while she was breathing heavily on the morphone drip, it was disheartening to say the very least.
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#5917535 - 11/08/11 10:34 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Spooky7715]
EmptyWallet Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 08/11/00
Posts: 17010
 Originally Posted By: Spooky7715
 Originally Posted By: EmptyWallet
 Quote:
I asked how long she would have if they took her off the breathing machine and he estimated a half hour. That's when it became very real to me. If I agreed to it, my mother would be dead in 30 minutes. I thought about it for a minute or two while he was on the phone before agreeing to it, knowing that it was the right thing to do. Still, saying it and actually doing it are two very different things.


Man oh man...that made me get misty-eyed thinking about when that day might come with my parents.

I sit here....not really sure what to type. There's a ton of thoughts flying through my head, and I've had a lot of thoughts recently about how I might feel and act when my parents start to go down hill.

I remember before my grandfather passed, he started getting dementia and would call my father (his son), my cousins name. Sometimes he didn't even recognize his own son. I didn't really pay much attention to it, until it hit me in the stomach one day....that's going to be me.

I felt like I needed to sit down. It's hard for me to deal with that.

Honestly, I still cling to the fantasy. I don't care how immature it sounds...my parents are both still superheroes in my eyes.

I think when we grow up, Mom & Dad are untouchable (at least in my experience) in our eyes. They make all the right decisions, they create a feeling of comfort, of SAFETY. It shook my reality a little bit when I realized that they are indeed not perfect, that they make mistakes, and don't have all the answers.

A lot of that is related to my childhood, which was awesome....so my perception is going to be biased, but I think everyone at a young age, regards their parents as superheroes.

I just choose to cling to that fantasy now. I know in my heart it's probably not completely right, but it makes me feel better to believe it.

I remember asking my father one time how in the world he could deal with his father starting to slide...."You just do." is what he told me.

I know I'm going to absolutely go off the deep end when my mother is gone. So I guess what I'm trying to say is MAN, I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I'll keep everyone involved in my thoughts and prayers.

I know the above is all jumbled up, and doesn't make any sense...but I thought it might help.

You try to prepare yourself as much as you can, but nothing can really prepare you. We had to make the decision for my mother to stop the machines. They told us it could be minutes. It was 5 days. I think I took comfort in her being so out of it before whe was put on the vent so I felt as though she did not know what was going on. I hoped. We had to make the decision for my sister. When they took her off the vent it was like she wasn't even sick, but we knew her lungs were going to fill back up with fluid and we would lose her. It was less than 24 hours. She was awake, coherent and trying to comfort us for much of it until she fell asleep for the last time. It still haunts me. Especially because she didnt want to die on my birthday, but she did. She was my best friend. My everything. My father died tragically in a fire. It took a while to process that one. Nothing can prepare you for the death of a loved one, but knowing they are not suffering any longer helps you deal with it after it happens. I hurt so much for Adam. I consider him a dear friend and he was there for me when I lost my loved ones. I wish there was something I could do.... but I know I can't.


I'm so sorry for you and Adam both, and wish you both well in finding joy again in the future.

I wish there was something I could do for both of you.
_________________________
"I don't think I've ever seen you get angry?"
[laughs] "Oh, I used to get angry. All the time. Frustrated too."
"You don't get...frustrated anymore?'
[smiles]"...I'm not lost anymore.."
"How..how did you do that?"
"Same way that anything lost,...gets found.....I stopped looking."

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#5917548 - 11/08/11 10:42 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: EmptyWallet]
M3Pilot or M3Driver Offline
Post Master Sr


Registered: 10/09/03
Posts: 7159
Im so sorry for your loss. What an awful thing to have witnessed.
_________________________
oh hell no. i tried finding a hot deaf chick for 10+ years. closest i got was a half blind cheerleader. - Beefy

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#5917550 - 11/08/11 10:42 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Adam G]
daisy Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 05/18/00
Posts: 44903
Loc: Tacoma, WA
Ahh bebe, you're killing me over here. I am so sorry for your loss, yet happy your Mom is no longer suffering (and yes, IMO that's suffering and not a way to live). You know I'm around if you need someone to talk to.
_________________________
2017 Volkswagen Alltrack
2007 Volvo XC70 Overland

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#5917556 - 11/08/11 10:46 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Huggy]
Voltron Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 08/17/01
Posts: 28669
Loc: Not Found
sorry for your loss
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#5917569 - 11/08/11 10:58 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Voltron]
jdimstr Offline
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 12/21/99
Posts: 10654
Loc: Melbourne, Australia
Sorry for your loss, and best wishes to you and your family right now.
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#5917572 - 11/08/11 10:58 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: Voltron]
tcr04 Online   content
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 50362
Loc: Gilbert, AZ
\:\(
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#5917574 - 11/08/11 10:59 PM Re: Do you believe in the sanctity of human life? v. poll [Re: tcr04]
Indie Offline
A Real Mother Fucker
Post Master Supreme


Registered: 09/14/02
Posts: 23730
Loc: Amman, Jordan
Just seeing this thread now. So sorry to hear, Adam. Let me know if there's anything I can do. In the meantime, my thoughts are with you and your family.

Rest in Peace.
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